So as it turns out my wife and I are on the tail end of a major life transition just in time for Rich’s sermon on the subject.
At the beginning of July our family dog, Simon, started having seizures. We later determined this was likely caused by a brain tumor. After many visits to the vets office, the veterinary emergency room, and a constant string of nights with one or both of us sleeping downstairs to be with the dog when he seized, we put Simon to rest a little more than three and a half weeks later.
Simon was put to sleep late on a Sunday night, and by Thursday, we had a new Beagle-Boxer puppy named Riley in our lives.
We’re just … dog people, my wife especially, though I’m the one who pushed for going to the shelter on Wednesday. My wife had been sending me pictures of dogs, and I just had to meet this guy, Riley.
It’s been good for both of us. Dogs can have such a healing presence on our lives, and we lucked out with Riley. He’s playful but chill, and has this great brindle coat you’d have to see to believe. Our cat might be mad at us for a little while, but even she’s used to having some big animal with soft floppy ears hanging around.
But it’s still hard sometimes. It’s not the things you’d expect, like getting Simon’s ashes, or the photobook we had printed. It’s stuff like when Riley chews quickly on his leg and it looks like he’s shaking. It’s thinking about that last twenty-eight hours of Simon’s life. And it’s trying to fall back into normal routines while forming new ones, including having a dog who likes to go on a lot more walks than his predecessor, but also needs comforting when there’s lightning.
I’m still grieving for Simon even as I’m just loving Riley. He was my first dog, and I’m so grateful we had so many good days together before the end. And that I got to buy him his Five Guys burger, which took him a whole minute to eat. (By the way the new dog doesn’t bug me for food and will even stop in the middle of eating to see what I’m doing. That is so weird).
For me living in transition was just as much about giving up routines as it was keeping them. It was letting it be okay that I wasn’t participating in my writing group for a while, or frankly that I didn’t feel like writing blog posts or doing much of anything besides watching TV and organizing files on my computer. I got a lot of backup burns done while I was convalescing with the dog that last week.
God was merciful in so many ways, both in how good the moments were after the seizures so that we had time to say goodbye to our beagle buddy, but also in making it clear when it was time for him to go. I’m honestly not sure if I could have done a year of this, but like all things in life you do what you have to, and you lean on the thing you can count on, like your wife and God.
And coming out of that experience has been centered around routines as well. Picking up new projects and enjoying an evening writing again in the sanctuary, hoping for a good thunderstorm either before or just after my drive home. It’s blogging again and participating more in the world outside again. It’s playing with my new dog, and laughing when he sneezes which is hilarious. And trying to teach him tricks, and that daddy doesn’t appreciate it when the dog pokes his head in my shower.
Life changes. Just looking back at the photos from Simon’s nine years with my wife and I shows me how much the house, and our lives have evolved over time. But even after all this time, I still have someone excited to see me when I come home.